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The “Living Death”
For pure mockery, there’s nothing that can match Ortiz’ reaction during a press conference with Shamrock leading up to their first meeting in November 2002. Shamrock, at the dais, is grimly detailing how he’s going to punish Ortiz for his verbal transgressions, while UFC honcho Dana White lingers in the background.

Shamrock turns to give Ortiz the tough guy stare, while Tito is sitting wide-eyed, feigning earnest attention like a pupil ready to receive the lesson.

“I hope to God you come ready. Because if you don’t, I am going to beat you…into a living death.” Shamrock fumes.

Pause. More pause. The two lock eyes. Shamrock’s game face is apparent, while Ortiz nods, like a customer being informed on the specifics of an especially high bill.

Then, Ortiz erupts in high-pitched, maniacal laughter, completely pulling the carpet out from under Shamrock’s attempt to intimidate him. Ken is so incensed he kicks a chair, which is caught mid-air by a stunned White.